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Sexuality for men with cancer


Find out about the male body and reproductive organs – visit the Andrology Australia website 
 
Coping with sexual problems caused by cancer treatment 
When you’re first diagnosed with cancer, you usually want to focus on getting well. You may not think about the impact on your sex life, body image, relationships and self-esteem until treatment is over.
 
Surgery, radiation therapy and chemotherapy and some drugs can all affect your sexuality. You should always use condoms for 48 hours after chemotherapy so that your partner is not exposed to the chemotherapy drugs in your semen.
 
Here are some common myths about men and sex. They are not true.
 Real sex is about penetration.
 Heterosexual sex is penis vagina intercourse (the real thing) after foreplay (to warm her up).
 It's a man’s responsibility to initiate sex, know how to turn women on and perform perfectly.
 The only thing better than sex is more sex.
 Sex is the best way to get close (sex takes the worry out of being close).
 All intimate contact must lead to sex.
 
Common problems caused by cancer treatment
 Losing interest in sex
 Impotence
 Losing a body part
 
Many sexual problems caused by cancer are temporary. With patience, time and practice, you can overcome many of them.
 
Losing interest in sex
It’s really common to feel too tired and not interested in sex during cancer treatments, especially chemotherapy and radiotherapy. But your interest will usually come back after your treatment is finished.
 
Tips
 Talk about how you’re feeling with your partner. They need to know when you feel ready for sex.
 Touching, holding, hugging and massaging are other ways of showing affection.
 Help your partner reach orgasm, or encourage them to masturbate.
 Try different sexual positions if your usual ones are uncomfortable. Use cushions or pillows to support your weight.
 Suggest a quick lovemaking session rather than a long one.
 
Impotence 
If you have had prostate, bowel or bladder surgery, erection problems are common because of nerve damage. Even with nerve sparing surgery, problems with erections are common one to three years after surgery.  Chemotherapy and radiotherapy can also affect your ability to have an erection.
 
Worrying about your cancer, or feeling depressed can affect sex too. If you are anxious about having and keeping an erection, that can make it worse. It can help to talk to a counsellor, or sex therapist.
 
Tips
 You can have sex with a half-erect penis. This works best with your partner on top, guiding the penis inside. You can still have an orgasm too.
 Help your partner reach orgasm without penetration. Experiment with oral sex, masturbation or all-over touching.
 Giving and receiving affection can be meaningful without having to go on to sex.
 
Talk to your doctor about the options for helping you get an erection.
 
Losing a body part
If you lose a limb or part of your genitals because of your cancer treatment, it might make you feel less like a man. It takes time to get used to how your body has changed.
 
Tips
 Think about having a prosthesis (an artificial body part) put into the scrotum or penis to give a normal appearance.
 Remember that removal of your testis or penis doesn’t make you less of a man. You are still the same person you were before cancer.
 Let your partner, if you have one, be part of any decisions you make. They love you, and will usually accept any physical changes.
 Talk to your partner about how you feel about the change in your appearance.
 
Ejaculation difficulties
If you have had prostate surgery, a dry orgasm (with little or no semen) is common. Some men say their dry orgasms are the same, while others say they’re not as strong, long-lasting or pleasurable – everyone is different.
 
Premature ejaculation can sometimes be a problem. Worrying about your sexual performance is more likely to cause it than cancer treatment.
 
Tips
 Concentrate on enjoying any sexual activity. Worrying about when you’ll ejaculate can lead to erection problems or reduce your interest in sex.
 Talk to your partner – they may be satisfied even if you think you ejaculate too quickly.
 Try not to rush through foreplay – your partner may feel rushed and not stimulated enough.
 Ejaculating more often, by masturbation, can sometimes help you delay ejaculation.
 
Painful intercourse 
Pain during sex sometimes happens after cancer treatment. Radiotherapy and surgery can irritate internal body parts and cause pain on ejaculation. Radiotherapy to the penis can cause scar tissue and a curved erection – it will usually settle down. Talk to your doctor if you have any pain or concerns.
 
Tips
 Plan sexual activity when your pain is least. If you’re taking pain medication, take it shortly before sex so it will be working well during foreplay and intercourse.
 Use positions that put the least pressure on painful areas of your body.
 Focus on your feelings of pleasure – not on the pain.
 Avoid sex when you’re tired or stressed.
 
Fertility problems 
Chemotherapy and radiotherapy can affect your fertility. Talk to your doctors about this before you start treatment. You may be able to store sperm before treatment. Sperm production, viability and movement can all be affected – often temporarily, but sometimes permanently.
 
You should always use contraception while you’re having chemotherapy, as the drugs used can harm an unborn baby.
 
Find out more
Go to our Online library  - Care and support section
   Read Sexuality for men with cancer 
 
It's a real bugger isn't it dear? Personal stories of different sexuality and cancer
 
Need to talk to someone? 
Call Cancer Council Helpline 13 11 20 
Shine SA (08) 8364 0444 or 1800 188 171 for country callers  
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277  - your call will automatically be directed to the nearest Relationships Australia office  
 
 
 


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