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Sexuality for women with cancer

 
Look at this diagram of female sex organs from the American Medical Association website.
 
Coping with sexual problems caused by cancer treatment  
When you’re first diagnosed with cancer, you usually want to focus on getting well. You may not think about the impact on your sex life, body image, relationships and self-esteem until treatment is over.
 
Surgery, radiation therapy  and chemotherapy  and some drugs can all affect your sexuality.
 
Common problems caused by cancer treatment
 Losing interest in sex  
 Trouble reaching orgasm
 
Losing interest in sex
It’s really common to feel too tired and not interested in sex during cancer treatments, especially chemotherapy and radiotherapy. But you will usually become interested again after treatment is finished.
 
Tips
  • Talk about how you’re feeling with your partner. They need to know when you feel ready for sex.
  • Try touching, holding, hugging and massaging to show affection - you don't have to go on to have sex.
  • Help your partner reach orgasm, or encourage them to masturbate.
  • Try different sexual positions if your usual ones are uncomfortable. Use cushions or pillows for support.
  • Suggest a quick lovemaking session rather than a long one.
 
Trouble reaching orgasm
The touching and kissing that often happens before penetration, as well as oral sex and masturbation, can help you reach orgasm. Anything that gives you the sexual pleasure you’re looking for is worthwhile.
 
Tips
  • Try different ways of getting in the mood – shower together, go away together – whatever makes you feel sexy, relaxed and good about yourself.
  • Use candles, soft lighting and music to set the mood.
  • Let your partner know (guide their hands) where to stroke or caress you to arouse you.
  • Think about a past pleasurable sexual experience or imagine a strong sexual thought – the mind plays a big part in arousal.
  • Consider using a vibrator – it may give you the extra stimulation you need.
  • Explore reaching orgasm without penetration.
  • Focus on your breathing. Tense and relax your vaginal muscles during intercourse or while your clitoris is being stroked.
 
Vaginal dryness
Vaginal dryness is very common after cancer treatment. You can also be more prone to thrush – a vaginal infection.
 
Tips
  • Try non-perfumed, water-based lubricants – available from your chemist or supermarket. Avoid Vaseline or oil-based ones as they can cause thrush.
  • Avoid soap, bubble bath, contraceptive devices and creams that can irritate the genital area.
  • Apply lubricant during foreplay – to both your own and your partner’s genitals.
  • Take more time over foreplay to help you relax and make sure your vagina is well lubricated.
  • Get any irritations checked by your doctor,so that it if it’s thrush it can be treated.
  • Wear loose, cotton clothes if you have thrush – avoid nylon pantyhose, tight jeans or trousers.
 
Reduced vaginal size
Some treatments may reduce the length or width of your vagina, making sex uncomfortable.
 
Tips
  • Use a dilator (shaped like a tube and made from plastic or rubber) to widen the entrance to your vagina.
  • Use a lubricant make penetration easier and less painful.
  • Having regular gentle sex will widen the vagina.
 
Painful intercourse
If you're having pain during intercourse, you may find it difficult to enjoy sex.
 
Sometimes pain causes the muscles around the vagina to become tight. Fear that you’ll be hurt during sex can make penetration difficult – even impossible.
 
Tips
  • Plan sexual activity when your pain is least. If you’re taking pain medication, take it shortly before sex so it will be working well during foreplay and intercourse.
  • Use positions that put the least pressure on painful areas of your body.
  • Find a position that controls the depth of penetration.
  • Focus on your feelings of pleasure and excitement – not on the pain.
  • Learn relaxation techniques to help stop your muscles tensing up.
  • Talk to a doctor or counsellor if you need more help.

Fertility problems
If fertility is an important issue, you and your partner should talk to your doctor about ways you may be able to preserve it before you start chemotherapy or radiotherapy.
 
Even if you have had your family, you may feel like less of a woman if you have no uterus, or become prematurely infertile. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments affect your eggs – and so you should still use contraception. Talk to your doctor about your options.
 
If your cancer treatment removes your ovaries, or stops them producing hormones, you may start menopause earlier than usual (the average age for menopause is 52 years). You might feel old or less feminine, and have some feelings of sadness and grief.
 
You can also get symptoms of menopause such as vaginal dryness, hot flushes, mood swings, trouble sleeping and tiredness – and they can be more severe because your body hasn’t had time to adjust. Talk to your doctor if this happens.
 

Find out more
Go to our Online library  - Care and support section
   Read Sexuality for women with cancer
 
It's a real bugger isn't it dear? Personal stories of different sexuality and cancer

Need to talk to someone?
Call Cancer Council Helpline 13 11 20
Shine SA (08) 8364 0444 or 1800 188 171 for country callers  
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277 - your call will be directed to the nearest Relationships Australia office.
 
Useful websites
Jean Hailes Foundation for women's health
National Breast and Ovarian Cancer Centre – about breast and ovarian cancer
American Cancer Society  
Cancerbackup UK  
National Cancer Institute  
November 2006


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